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[Reclaim Your Life Nuggets] Aspects of control and manipulation
November 03, 2013
November 3, 2013 | Issue #011 | Sign up for this ezine
Welcome to another issue of 'Reclaim Your Life Nuggets', where we hope you are up to date with the nuggets you've been given so far.
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Becoming aware of and identifying specific points of control and manipulation would greatly serve you in gaining more clarity on your life's journey.
The purpose here is to bring awareness to something you might not be aware of. You see - most of the time we don't realize or even admit that manipulation is at play. There are countless reasons we give ourselves to justify different situations - it's part of our mental survival mechanism.
Control and manipulation can be harmless, but it can also be very harmful. It's easy to recognize when it's harmless, though we usually ignore it because it's something that's done automatically.
The thing is, because it's done automatically we take no notice of it and it becomes a habit that in the long run may produce harmful resentment (and could be even worse than that...)
A good example would be situations where we take advantage of someone's soft spots to get something we want, and this is a good place to point out that it can be done by us or to us - either way becoming aware of it would serve you in truly knowing and understanding yourself.
This knowledge and understanding could be of great value to you when challenged as a parent, though we'll not go deeper into this context here, only mention the great importance of this awareness when parenting and encourage you to apply and experience it for yourself.
[If you do feel the need to go deeper - it is part of our Healthy Relationships Solution coaching program, and you can learn more by watching the free videos offered on 'Our Gifts to You' page if you haven't already]
Another sign that could alert you to the existence of manipulation is when you find yourself doing things that feel wrong and interfere with your natural flow and happiness.
Some people are very cunning in their manipulation and disguise it so well that this wrong feeling may be our only indication that we've been manipulated.
The sad thing to note here is that most of the time those cunning manipulators are not even doing it consciously, it's just the way they have been programmed and it's part of their deep need to feel control over their lives, and the misconception that this includes recruiting other people (usually their loved ones) to the cause.
Control is the motivator here, and control motivation is something to beware of. Control is mostly an illusion when we apply it for ourselves, however we need to always remember that attempting to control others is a very unhealthy tactic with a variety of undesirable side effects…
Remember, this nugget's purpose is only to shed light on some automatic behavior we may be disregarding or missing altogether in our lives.
This simple awareness is a great step towards mastering yourself, and referring to Lao Tzu's quote - it is very powerful in and of itself.
For example - becoming aware of your unconscious control motivator could free you from it, allowing a significant reduction of stress levels resulting with a notable improvement of your well-being.
Stay tuned for our next Reclaim Your Life Nugget and remember...
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