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[Reclaim Your Life Nuggets] Losing someone you love...
September 22, 2013

September 22, 2013 | Issue #008 | Sign up for this ezine

Welcome to another issue of 'Reclaim Your Life Nuggets', where we hope you are up to date with the nuggets you've been given so far.
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This nugget is inspired by a recent personal loss. My one and only beautiful sister. Can you relate? Did YOU ever lose a loved one?

The first thing I'd like to bring forth here is the important distinction between the mind and the heart, and by heart I mean the emotional part of our being.

You see, for most of us the experience of pain and grief when losing a loved one is inevitable. What we CAN avoid is the intensification of this pain by believing some of our painful thoughts regarding this situation.

It's important to allow the pain and refrain from any attempt of suppressing it - let it flow through us so it can fade away and not get stuck in our body's energy. This pain comes in waves, and time is its best healer.

You may find some comfort in this Catherine O'Hara quote:

“When you lose someone you love, they never really leave you. 
They just move into a special place in your heart.”

As for the mind - for so many of us it plays a big part in needlessly intensifying our pain, so let's address it here.

Probably the most important thing that will help you is acceptance, which is what our last Reclaim Your Life Nugget is about, and if you have not read it or need refreshing you can click here to read it.

There are different thoughts that challenge our acceptance. Thoughts like "Why did they have to go so young?" "Why did they have to suffer so much?" "No parent should have to bury their child" "I should have done more" "If only I…" and I could go on and on with an array of thoughts that torment some of us following the death of a loved one.

It's important that we all KNOW:

“Nothing comes ahead of its time, and nothing ever happened
that didn’t need to happen.”
~ Byron Katie

While the pain of loss is still fresh, it may be hard to see and understand the reasons death took this person in the way and the time that it did, but you can absolutely trust that the good and positive that is meant to come out of this event will unfold.

If you genuinely question the thoughts that torment you - you'll see the futility of this intensification of your pain, because nothing will change what already happened, and those are just thoughts you either choose to believe or not.

And on the other hand - when you set out to see the good that this loss has created you will surely find it (and every challenge in our life holds lessons and opportunities in it that make us stronger).

Please note that this is being said with the utmost loving intention, for I too am now experiencing a loss of a loved one together with my family, and so can see clearly how all these components come into play.

And I'll end with a beautiful Mary Frye poem that's based on a Native American one:

Stay tuned for our next Reclaim Your Life Nugget and remember...

[Image courtesy of Vlado /]

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