Holding my pains and hatred
Its been a year now..but still the bad memories are still in my head and in my heart..
My husband is a good man, i could say a straight forward man, a good provider. He dont even touch his money even his own salary, atm is already with me. He is my boyfriend since we were in university, 4years engaged, And 25 years married. For the past 29 years we were together he was not involved in any other woman. We fight, yes but usual fighy of husband and wife, differences in character.
We are a happy and active christian family, sunday in the church, bible study and attend church camp. I could say, im contented and trust my husband so much.
But things happenned when we least expected..
It was late last year 2010, we have to separate coz he work in other country and i cant be with him coz my children need me and i have one teenager girl that need my guidance.
Oftentimes i visited him, and it happened i used his Ipad, he was so concious and trying to signout his messenger, i felt different. I talk to him if he had chatting to somebody he denied,
I ignored that situation but i warned him.
Its december 2010 when i confirmed that my husband is having a close relationship with his staff, i caught them in a chat. I read all the sweetie things they talked about, it hurt so much and i cant accept it, things happened to me. I cant believed that my husband do such thing, i trusted him so much. The girl is so young, same age as my eldest son. They are always together in the office and sometimes even late at night coz they are working in a project that needs an overtime.
I talked to my husband and he told me that its only a fun nothing physical involvement.
I talked to the girl and warned her, but inspite of my warnings she still communicate with my husband. My husband told me its just work, and he promised me that he is not chatting anymore with her.
Good thing now the girl already resigned, but i still hate her. The pain still here in my heart, i even tests my husband inviting him in a chat using the name of this girl but he always declined, he even closed his messenger. I was convinced that my husband dont want to communicate with her anymore...
The problem now is with me, i still remember the betrayal..
I want to move on and forget everything...
I want to move on, but when i remember all the chats they have and the moments they were together in the office, my anger still here in my heart, i suffer so much..