Holding onto grudges

by Marich

I am 24 yrs old and am dating a 38 yrs old guy.

The problem is that he is holding onto old grudges which occurred when we fight like all relationships but the problem him is that he never forgets and it has already affected our retionships.

He no longer spend time with me, he has even lost interest in everything.

Lately he has proposed to marry me so I'm not as to wether I shud agree

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Mar 17, 2018
grudges NEW
by: Anonymous

Same here dating a man 55 he is with every fight holding on to grudges for months. It is pure torment. Even though he cheated non stop in the past and possibly still does, I never do this to him. It is affecting our relationship tremendously as I came to realize the past 7 years this is a pattern of him. These grudges of him resulted always in SILENT TREATMENT for months and thereafter playing the victim.

I am done apologizing as that has no effect on him. A person like this is drama all the way one never feels safe as the slightest thing then they start sulking ignoring and hold grudges.

Whatever he said or did to me, I always forgive within a hour or so. But not him, he has to hold on to that grudge for months. And it is wearing me down. Its like dealing with a kid and walk on eggshells all the time.

Jun 06, 2013
Trust yourself
by: Shirly

Dear Marich,

YOU are the only one who truly knows what's right for you.

My advice to you would be to stop, take a deep breath and ask yourself the question. Then notice if you feel light or heavy - that should give you clarity as to what's right for you.

No need to over analyze and over think, just FEEL - your gut feeling never lies to you.

Always remember that you are the most important person in your world, and being honest with yourself and true to yourself is key to you owning your own life.

Also, you can only be responsible for yourself, and have no control over other people's behavior, which is why it always is about you and never about them.

Hope this helps.

With love and light.

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