The POWER of Responsibility
Discover the FREEDOM that Knowing it Brings
The reason some people resent the idea behind responsibility that says
"I am responsible for every aspect of my life",
is lack of understanding.
If you take the time and give some attention to understanding what it really means, you will see that your GREATEST FREEDOM comes with it.
I personally have encountered this resentment a number of times.
My belief is that the the source of it is the false shame of admitting failure, incompetence, and all those feelings that could connect to taking responsibility to all kinds of unpleasant situations that we and our loved ones sometimes find ourselves in.
Wow, that was a very long sentence...
FALSE is it's main message, in case I have managed to confused you...
Some of you will be familiar with one of Eleanor Roosevelt's famous quotes
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
I would expand on it and say
'No one can make you feel ...(anything)... without your consent!'
Our feelings regarding any situation in our life are a direct result of our Perception. PERCEPTION is one of your very important creative faculties which makes you a UNIQUE HUMAN BEING.
The point I am trying to make here is that if we change the way we perceive a situation, our whole feeling about it could change.
WOW, talk about power...!
So the first thing to clarify here is your perception of being responsible,
and I assure you, I am not going to dwell on the 'guilt trip' perception!
YOU are responsible for every aspect of your life,
therefore, at any minute of every day:
YOU HAVE THE POWER!
Whatever it is that brought you to your current circumstances belongs in the past, and remember
Now is the only time we have.
It's where everything begins.
You now have made a purposeful decision to learn and know more,
in order to find out how to use your power to create change in your life.
There is no point in judging yourself for what you were not aware of in the past, which brought you to your current circumstances!
So you see, this is not about 'What did I do to create this...?'
IT IS about 'How I CAN change it'
What I am going to say now, I will only say once, but please,
don't EVER forget it.
YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO BE ONE.
When you understand this and apply it in different situations in your life, you will know how powerful it can be.
It's easier to apply with certain aspects of our life than it is with others, yet it DOES apply to ALL aspects of our life.
In order to make things clearer, I will share a couple of examples from my own life to show how my understanding of this evolved.
You see, we can understand something on a certain level of awareness, and as our awareness grows, so does the depth of our understanding and our ability to apply our understanding into more and more situations in our life. Hence, the state of mind of always aspiring to grow our awareness is ongoing.
A long time ago, I was diagnosed with a life threatening health condition. My first instinctive reaction was a victim's one. Why me? I was really miserable and felt sorry for myself. But then I realized that moping around doing just that, will only make things worse.
The book 'Love, Medicine & Miracles' by Bernie S. Siegel, was introduced to me. It changed my whole perception of the situation I was in. I was guided by my wonderful late Grandmother to grow my awareness.
It did not take me long to understand that me being responsible makes sense, though I did not quite know what to do with this knowledge, and I was definitely not ready for applying it.
That's something important to note - we can only learn something when we are ready for it.
Growing your awareness is the key, and each of you will do it in your own time. IT'S OK!
The great benefit of having this knowledge is that it empowered me to understand 2 very important things.
The first one is that I am the one responsible for my health,
(and NOT my doctor, who's role here is to diagnose and advise me) therefore, I make the decisions regarding any course of treatment.
The second one is that I KNOW there is a way for me to be healthy again and the fact that I am not yet aware of the 'how' is only temporary.
Applying those 2 notions is what kept me alive then, and after all these years, here I am today - happily sharing this story with you :)
Be aware that my personal pace is in NO WAY an indication to anyone else's. The main thing here is knowing and trusting this knowledge with certainty, and as a way of life, always aiming to continue and grow your awareness. The things that will affect the pace of growth in your awareness, are to do with how urgent it is to you and how much passion you are putting into it.
My experience shows that the greater the urgency, the greater the passion, and sometimes things can literally happen in no time.
Anything is Possible when you understand the Power of Responsibility.
Now I will give another personal example from the relationships aspect of life, since I know a lot more people can relate to that one.
This one is more recent and is an indication of the shift in my awareness when discovering the powerful added value of actually applying something you already think you 'know'.
I am the mother of 2 teenage kids and am happily divorced.
I assume I don't have to tell you about the challenges of teenage years, since I believe you probably have some personal experience
(at least from the teenage point of view...)
From the parent point of view, when my son turned one,
I was shocked and at a loss with regards to 'How do I handle this?'
As long as my partner was around - there was someone to blame for my son's behaviour (and it's not like blaming makes any difference...)
It's important to note that this 'blame it on my partner' is a very common thing in couples' relationships. (Does it feel familiar to you...?)
It is actually a great EXCUSE to AVOID responsibility.
When my partner was taken out of the equation, there was no one to blame anymore. I was left with the challenge. At the time, it felt like my son was driving me crazy and I thought all I could do was hold my breath and wait until he was older. I was a victim, therefore had no control over the situation. But of course, not for long. I was on a journey to grow my awareness, and was determined to find the right way to handle this.
Even though we do not tend to use the VICTIM label on ourselves,
it is what we often choose to be (perception), when we are not aware of how to change our current experience.
KNOW that if it bothers you, there is ALWAYS something you can do about it!
When trying to examine the situation from my son's point of view, the insight suddenly hit me.
I am responsible not for his behaviour, but for my reaction to it.
My reaction is instinctive and is linked to my emotions.
Since I know that no one can make me feel anything without my consent,
I was looking for the source of my feelings and knew it is inside me.
I found that my need to be in control over his life was running the show here, and the source of that was probably in an old paradigm that definitely didn't serve me.
As soon as I was truly ready to release this 'control', there was an amazing shift in our relationship, and communication was restored.
I can't even begin to describe this feeling. It is something that I warmly encourage you to experience for yourself.
Ever since then, everything's different, and not because my son has changed but because my perception had changed. Whenever ANYTHING 'made' me feel something that was anything but a good feeling, I started looking for the source of my feelings rather than 'blame' something that is outside of me.
I hope all this makes clear, the power and freedom that understanding and applying responsibility gives you. May it make a big difference in your life.
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